[ the gwg | fanfics | The Break Up ]

The Break Up
Nick Callahan

(Professor G, Doktor S, Instructor H, and Master O are all sitting around, drinking coffee. Doctor J walks in holding a bunch of papers.)

J: Here are the final write-ups for the Wing Zero designs. Gentlemen, we are now ready to begin production.

(The scientists get up and crowd around the plans.)

G: Hey, where's the beam scythe?!

J: Oh, shut up about your stupid beam scythe. You've been whining about it for months now.

G: That's 'cause it's a good idea!

J: No, it isn't! There is no way to make Minovsky particles bend that way!

(Doktor S leans over to Doctor J.)

S: Um... this is the AC timeline, not the UC timeline. We have no actual justifying physics here.

J: Really? Well... it still wouldn't work. It's too improbable.

G: This coming from Mr. "I'm sure the beam cannon won't overheat in Earth's atmosphere."

H: Speaking of Earth, I still say we should make it more adaptable to terrestrial combat. Beam weapons are better for space combat.

(Pause. All the scientists turn and stare at H.)

O: H, I thought we agreed we didn't want the Wing Zero to be a wuss.

H: That's easy to say when you're 6'-9".

O: Yes, it is.

H: (Grumbles.)

G: Anyway... if you guys won't allow the scythe, at least give me the hyper-jammers. We can spare the booster packs.

J: But the booster packs are what give it its speed.

G: Like the Tallgeese, the oh-so-wonderful suit that crushes a pilot's chest?

J: Your momma!

(G punches J. The two start fighting. The others pointedly ignore them.)

O: So, anything else we should worry over?

S: I still think it should have missiles. And lots of them.

H: What is it with you and missiles?

S: When I see them blow up, I feel good.

(O and H take a step back from S.)

G: Got your arm!

(G holds up J's robotic arm.)

J: Why you...

(J tackles G.)

S: Do you think we should stop them?

H: Why not? O?

(O grabs J and G in one hand each and holds them apart.)

O: Are you ready to continue?

J and G: (mumbles) Yes.

(O puts J and G down on opposite sides.)

J: Well, besides a Mr. Beam Scythe...

(G noticably bristles.)

J: ...does anybody else have something to say?

O: You know, I just had this idea. What if we made the beam saber arm extendable? Then it could strike at a distance. Or even more, maybe we could just put a spike or something at the end. What do you think?


J: That has to be...

G: ...the dumbest idea...

S: ...I have...

H: ...ever heard.

(O sniffles. A lone tear falls down his check.)

O: I am *sob* tired of having you *sob* ridicule my every idea! I am taking my contibutions and leaving!

(O grabs up some papers and stomps out.)

G: Yeah, you know what... I'm building my own Gundam. An effective Gundam. Let's see YOU design a mobility system.

(G grabs some papers and leaves.)

H: Screw you guys. I'm not going to do something as dumb as send a space fighter to Earth.

(H grabs some papers and leaves. Now the plans are considerably smaller than before. J turns to S.)

J: You leaving?

S: Can we put missles on it?

J: No.

(S grabs some papers.)

S: You can make your own shoulder-mounted machine cannons.

(S leaves.)

J: Joke's on them. I still have the back-up plans.

H: (From a distance) And I'm taking the back-ups with me!

(J blinks.)

J: Well... I did anticipate this. Huh, joke's on them. They couldn't do a thing without me.

(J turns to what's left of the plans.)

J: Let's see... I'll have to reduce the size of the beam cannon, since H took the custom servo-motor plans. And without G's quick manueverablity systems, I should take off the boosters. And I'll have to repalce the machine guns with vulcans...