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The Best Gundam Wing Pilot

(The Gundam pilots are sitting around in a lounge, drinking and relaxing.)

Heero: Hmm...

Quatre: What is it, Heero?

Heero: Just wondering which one of us is the best pilot.

Quatre: Oh, that's easy. I am.

Heero: What makes you think that?

Quatre: Well, I have to close into point blank range to kill someone.

Duo: So do I, and I don't have a band of mercs watching my back. Plus I only have one main weapon, which I can't throw, but you have two...

Quatre: So? You can cloak!

Duo: Hey, I wasn't done yet! When it comes to secondary weapons, I have head vulcans that I almost never use, but you have a machinegun, head vulcans, and missile launchers in your shoulders that everyone seems to overlook.

Quatre: But you can cloak and you've got tough wings!

Wufei: Get over it!

Duo: Thanks... I think...

Wufei: Yeah, well, I don't care who's the best, but I know it's not that wuss.

Trowa: I think I'm the best. I mean, I've never seen you guys fight using a little knife.

Heero: The only reason you use the knife is 'cause you run out of ammo.

Trowa: That's my point!

Duo: Yeah, but you wouldn't run out of ammo if you would stop shooting when the MS explodes.

Trowa: ........good point........

Quatre: We aren't solving anything by arguing!

All: Shut up, Quatre!

Quatre: (sniffling sounds)

Heero: I think I'm the best.

Duo: Why? I'd like to know.

Heero: Because I've got the Zero system, a double buster rifle that is ridiculously overpowered and can blow up space colonies in one shot, plus I wear Spandex.

Duo: How does that help?

Heero: It's way too tight and it really hurts, so I use that pain as a fuel.

Duo: Now this is a side of him we've never seen before. But anyway, on to my points on why Heero isn't the best of us. 1. The buster rifle is just that overpowered, at least Trowa has to shoot his enemies more than once to wipe them out. 2. The Zero system does everything but pull the trigger. And 3. Spandex doesn't help, it just makes you look gay.

Wufei: He's got a point there, Heero, and not going with Relena doesn't help the gay image. At least Duo has Hilde, Trowa has Catherine, Quatre has... well, this IS Quatre we're talking about. And me, I'm just a side character that is only in 1 out of 10 episodes.

Heero: ........

Trowa: Wufei is right, Heero, you know Relena wants you bad, but you still plan on killing her even after about 60 million people know who you are.

Duo: Wait a second, we all use overpowered, nearly-unstoppable mobile suits. I'm betting that if we used Gundams from the UC universe, we'd be stomped on...

Wufei: I've been saying that all along.